chRONicles: Wannaweep Woes
by Samurai Crunchbird
Summary: The tenth 'ch-RON-icles' story outlines the perils Ron faced at that infamous summer camp. It includes a parody of 'Hello, Muddah...Hello, Fuddah'. ...Complete...


_**My **__**NEW**__** KP disclaimer**_

I know Disney owns 'Kim Possible'…Lock, stock, and Rufus.

If they want to sue me, they will have to get behind all my other creditors.

Since I am in Florida, and have taken on even MORE debt than before…

The line has formed to the right—and now stretches to east Russia via the Polar Ice Cap!

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Opening notes:**_

**1)** Well, folks…this is the tenth story in the _'ch-__**RON**__-icles'_ group. These tales feature Ron Stoppable in many of his everyday adventures before he began joining 'you know who' on her missions.

**2)** It's been a while. I just hope I still have something left in the creative 'tank' for my loyal readers (_**both**__ of you!_).

**3) **This was one of the 'KParodies' I attempted to launch. This tale may still serve as a transition to that set of stories. Only time will tell. This one is set to the tune of the Allan Sherman classic, "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (The Camp Granada Song)". For those of you under age 35, please listen to that song and come back for the story.

…Don't worry…we'll wait for you…

Got the idea of this song? Good!

Now that all the youngsters are 'up to speed', let's just sit back and…

**Enjoy the show!**

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

'_ch-__**RON**__-icles:__** Wannaweep Woes'**_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

…_For Aaron Eilerts, Josh Fennen, Ben Petrzilka, and Sam Thomsen…_

…_Scouts forever…_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Summer Camp…**_

For many kids, it is a chance to get in touch with nature, play some cool games, create quasi-useful items for their parents, make new friends, or just plain have fun.

Still, it could be a harrowing experience, as was the case of one child in particular…

…_**Ron Stoppable.**_

Through the years, much has been learned about Ron's time at that infamous camp. However, very few of us have ever read the e-mail Ron sent to his parents which finally convinced them to rescue him from the place…

…It was sent one night as he crawled through the infamous 'Cabin 13 Escape Hatch' and dodged numerous woodland creatures, great and small (they were _supposed_ to be small, at least). With his clothes in tatters, several minor burns, and thunder rumbling in the distance, he reached the nearby Science Camp.

Finding the Science Camp's security protocols firmly in place, Ron nearly caused quite a commotion when he entered the computer lab. Thankfully, Ron's 'ace-in-the-hole' was a fake camp identification card made by his six-year-old friend, Wade. Despite his young age, Wade was truly a gifted prodigy and was on the facility's counseling staff.

After successfully gaining access with the card, Ron proceeded to the nearest computer with internet access. The fact it was a dial-up connection, instead of the cutting-edge DSL technology, was a bane for most of the campers. Still, as they were reminded by Wade and the rest of the counselors, they _were_ supposed to be 'roughing it'.

Ron, on the other hand, was not complaining about such things. His mother did stop taking his calls early on the first day, but she checked her e-mail often, whether it was to find new recipes or look online for a new job. His father, however, was at an actuarial conference. While Ron did not know the phone number for the hotel where his father stayed, he knew his father always checked his e-mail every morning, even from the little kiosks in the hotel lobby. Like the man said far too often, "I'm an actuary…I can work anywhere."

Ron sent up a quick prayer as the computer's modem established a link to the internet. He knew, with the upcoming storm, the connection would be iffy at best. If the clouds used the toxic lake's waters at their source, he feared the connection would be the least of his worries.

Accessing the e-mail account he got from the Middleton Public Library, he used the Address Book feature to locate the e-mail addresses for both his parents. The pelting of the rain began to fall on the steel roof of the facility. He heard the hiss of the drops as they began to wear through the roof's surface and erode the room's last layers of protection from the elements.

Through all the chaos that was set to befall Ron and the unsuspecting campers around him, he was determined to release his impassioned plea…

_**Hello Mommy...Hello Daddy.**_

_**Where the heck did...you guys send me?**_

_**Wannaweep is...what they name it,**_

_**And the food's so bad, the rats won't even claim it!**_

**_--_**

_**Served us dog food...Ken-L-Ration**_

_**Cans are years past...expiration.**_

_**Chow Hall's got no...smoke detectors**_

_**And the stench alone killed several Health Inspectors**_

_**--**_

_**Sure, there's no way...you'd be knowing**_

_**That the water's...green and glowing!**_

_**Definitely...not for swimming**_

_**Even ducks and fish have beards that need some trimming!**_

**_--_**

_**I was thrown out...by my bunkie**_

_**Now I'm stuck here...with a monkey**_

_**Man, his rudeness...always stinging**_

_**But not half as bad as that stuff he keeps flinging!**_

_**--**_

_**Take me home! Oh Mommy, Daddy,**_

_**Take me home! I hate this place now**_

_**Don't leave me...out in the forest where...**_

_**We hide...from seven-legged bears.**_

_**Take me home! It's stranger than in my worst dreams.**_

_**The sparrows here shoot laser beams.**_

_**They just destroyed my shower.**_

_**I can't stand one...more...hour!!**_

_**--**_

_**Wow, I'm really...feeling crummy.**_

_**Got some rumbling...in the tummy!**_

_**Bullies spin me...like a comet**_

_**Wish they'd knock it off, 'cause I'm about to vomit!**_

_**--**_

_**Now the acid...rain is hailing!**_

_**Campers screaming...sirens wailing.**_

_**Now there's chaos...helter skelter**_

_**Have to go now, gotta find the fallout shelter! **_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Author's ending notes:**_

The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the _**constructive **_feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!!

Once more, _**Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! When you want to 'PM' me, it's ok!**_

Your friend in writing,

The Samurai Crunchbird®


End file.
